Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

Did etiquette die?

Posted: May 9, 2013 in Family
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Okay, this post is going to be a rant of sorts.

Lately I have been irritated by everything and everyone who lacks manners. I was raised to have them. There is a time and a place for craziness. I am not however, a hoity toity manners type person. But I believe that the basics should be followed without exception.

1. No elbows on the table.
2. No burping, farting or other bodily functions at the table (this includes blowing your nose)
3. You wear black to a funeral. Period. Nothing else is acceptable. Period.
4. Deaths should not be posted on the internet until after the immediate family has been contacted. I believe that a 24 hour waiting period should be honored. This allows time for family to contact family to contact close friends etc. They should also allow 24 hours for posting anything about it as well.
5. Death should always be announced via your voice. This is not optional. A facebook event should not be created. Again, not optional. No texting this either. Call, it allows a very personal piece of information to relayed personally.
6. Take your hat off when eating.
7. No cell phones at the table, at weddings, at funerals etc.
8. Never wear white to a wedding unless you are the bride.
9. No beer at funerals, and the cooler should be left in the car. (yes, I have witnessed this! Ya, I know, shocking!)
10. Never, never, never pull out of the funeral procession, flag attached to your car, and pull into a corner store to purchase ANYTHING! Really! (Yes, I have witnessed this as well)
11. Say please and thank you and you’re welcome.
12. Say yes ma’am and yes sir to all those older than you.
13. Hold a door for a lady, anyone with equipment to help them move, and offer assistance if needed.
14. When waiting anywhere for anything, if a pregnant woman, and elderly person or person with an injury walks in, always stand and offer your chair, unless you too are one that has been listed.
15. Stand for the national anthem, hand over heart. I don’t care what your beliefs are, its a respect thing. You are here, show your respect.
16. If there is a prayer, regardless of your beliefs, either bow your head and join in, or be quiet. They are not trying to force you into a new religion, relax. It’s respectful of others to allow them a moment or two of silence. They would do the same for you.

Maybe I’m old school. Maybe I was raised by the last generation who believed that these things were important. Maybe I’m holding on to a world that no longer exists. Maybe I’m a dying breed. I don’t care either way really. These are important to me, I will raise my children to see them as important and I will spend the rest of my life trying to get my husband to see them as important too.

I look around the world today and I wonder if etiquette died. Will it be something our grand children learn about in museums and history books? Will the royal family be the only ones still using it, or will the new generation of leaders taking on these roles dismiss them as well as society? I hope not.

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First, I would like to apologize for not blogging sooner. I think my life took on a life of its own and moved out.

I have been all over the place lately. Working a little on this project and a little on that one, but not completing any. It’s become very stressful for me. I am usually NOT that type of person. I usually plan ahead so far that I could tell you what I will be doing in 5 years. But sometimes things get sprung on us and we have to ride the wave to the shore.

Photo credit: wallpapersfor.net

Photo credit: wallpapersfor.net

After much deliberation, the fort bed planned for the munchkin man was vetoed. Since his claim against his room to get it repainted was that it was too dark, we decided that enclosing his bed would only compound the problem. We also decided, after much research, that building loft beds would not be cost effective and would take a considerable amount of time (which we are low on), so 2 loft beds were ordered and should be in this week. One for each of the boys.

Photo credit: Walmart

Photo credit: Walmart

I will be glad to have that surprise project off my plate.

Another surprise project was the dining room table. My chairs have not been in “good” condition for some time. Out of 6 chairs, we were down to 3½ out of pure necessity. After a painful injury to my butt, I put my foot down and we let go of some money for replacements.

Did you know that it is more expensive to purchase chairs than it is to buy a whole set? It’s like they throw in the table for free! So we got a whole new set.

Photo credit: value City Furniture

Photo credit: value City Furniture

I really love it! The kids can’t rock back on the legs of a bench!

So those are my waves, lots of unfinished projects!
What has you stalled out lately?

The weekend before last I was finally able to complete the painting project in the little one’s room. I also got the carpet shampooed, again. Have I mentioned how much I HATE carpet?

We set up his room with just the furniture, the toys remain in the large boxes in the living room, and he loves it! He is sleeping in there every night!

We also went through all of the clothes in his closet. I let him do the sorting. It was good for him. He was able to let go of items because they were too small or had holes and was even willing to help bag them up to go to my sister for her younger boys.

I know I promised pictures, but it’s not yet completed as we have a bed to build and some more decorating to do.

After we completed the project, I asked him: “So what toys do you want in your room?”

His reply surprised me. “I guess I did have a lot of stuff I don’t need in there. I like it neat and clean the way it is now.”

I think we have had a hoarding break through! He is even making his bed and vacuuming so it stays that way. I am a very proud mama!

He is requesting a storage solution for his Legos that will fit in the bottom of his closet so his room doesn’t end up cluttered again and maybe some shelves so he can display his favorite builds. He later told me he would like a gun cabinet, which freaked me out until he said it was for his nerf guns. I’ve been looking at the gun racks that mount to the wall, but mechanic man said they aren’t designed for bulky nerf guns. He is opting to build a custom rack when he builds the bed. I think it would be adorable.

We are getting ready for spring, so even the kids have been helping around the house lately. They are doing more maintenance than cleaning, but what I clean has been staying that way. I even saw my little one with the duster!

The snow on the first day of spring dampened our resolve though. Last night was unproductive.

Mechanic Man has finally joined me and agrees that a tile backsplash in the kitchen would be a nice upgrade, fairly inexpensive, and quite possibly a fun project to do. He even helped me pick out the tiles. He prefers the glass tiles for easy cleaning. I am very excited!

How are your spring cleaning projects coming along? Has spring arrived where you are? I know Sobomama has mowed her lawn twice this week. Yes, I am jealous! Mechanic Man has plowed twice this week. 😦

I have noticed that my CDO might be getting a little worse. I mentioned this to my husband after I folded a load of towels. After I completed folding the pile that was on the bed, I noticed that they were stacked in order by color, red-purple. Now, I do not have all the colors of the rainbow, but what I had, was in that order. I wish I had taken a picture.

I pulled them out of the pile, grabbing them in order, folded them, stacked them in piles on the bed and even the stacks were in order of color. I think I am going to buy all white towels.

My loving husband then mentioned to me that I spent about 5 hours cleaning the house on Saturday. I did, and I was quite proud of the results! He then mentioned he noticed a few things. Like the fact that I pulled the washer and dryer out and vacuumed behind them and dusted the wires and hoses. He also noticed that all of the trim in the house had been dusted. He assumed that I pulled out the fridge and stove and vacuumed behind them as well. (I did) And then he asked me why?

Because it needed to be done. Seriously, it was gross!

His response was, “no one will ever see it”.

OH MY GOSH! My heart nearly pounded out of my chest! What do you mean that no one will ever see it? Why on earth does it matter if they can see it? It’s there, and it’s dirty, it needed to be cleaned. Hello!

Maybe I am a little over the edge.

I don’t think that being a little CDO over cleaning is a bad thing though.

And that cleaning made it possible for me to do absolutely nothing on Sunday. We watched 4 movies as a family, ate a great homemade breakfast, had a grab whatever lunch and had meatloaf and mashed potatoes for dinner with chocolate ice cream for dessert! It was the best Sunday in a long time. We never even got dressed!

What’s your most recent best Sunday? What do you and yours do when you don’t want to do anything?

The unproductive weekend seems to have taken over my entire week. Other than cleaning up after Mr. Poopsalot (seems as though he’s had a relapse) I haven’t done much. And you know what? I think I am okay with that. I am always talking about how far behind I feel when I read Sobomama‘s blog, but the truth is, we are all individual’s, each with our own specific needs and wants. I want and need to spend more time with my boys. The house also needs to be organized. It needs it because I personally cannot handle chaos. Everything has a place and it should be in it. If it doesn’t have one, get rid of it!

So I threw my to-do list out for a week. It will still be there later. Staring me in the face making me feel behind again on another day.

Mechanic Man and I took the boys to the pool last night. It was wonderful. Relaxing, fun, energizing, and it nearly killed the cabin fever we have all had the past few weeks.

I realized that I am completely out of shape and that my boys are fish! Or at least part fish. Last night was the first of many I think. It may become a weekly trip. It’s definately affordable at only $5 for the family. My everywheres felt the laps I swam, and they still feel it today. That is a good thing, I think?!?

But it aggrivated little man’s ear. We had a suspicion that he might be fighting an ear infection after his week long illness but it seemed to be getting better. He has an appointment this afternoon.

They are off school until next Tuesday, so I think we will be having some family fun for the next 3 days. Maybe that to-do list will wait another weekend? The boys worked together picking up the trash and such that they failed to take care of previously, so the house looks decent. Still need to paint that room though.

Either way….I think I’m okay with that.

So I posted yesterday about Mr. Poopsalot and that Dad was cleaning up the Tuesday morning droppings; (the dog is feeling better by the way) After I shampooed twice the night before and covered the entire carpet with baking soda, opened the window (20 degrees outside) put a towel under the door (to keep the rest of the house from freezing) and returned hours later to vacuum just before collapsing into bed. Have I mentioned how much I despise carpet? I came home yesterday, the door to his room was open and no one said anything to me about the floor needing my attention.

I moved on with my evening, homework, a walk in the snow with Mechanic Man, cooking, minimal cleaning, arguing over the homework, arguing over the tv show, arguing, arguing, arguing and arguing followed by putting my 2 little angels to bed. 🙂 This is when I found out that he could not sleep in his room becuase it smelled. Like poop. Upon inspection of the floor, I find that Dad simply removed the thickness from the top of the carpet. Fabulous! Now it is dried into the fibers of the carpet which will require far more cleaning than I am willing to do at bed time (9pm) and I am throughly exhausted from all of the arguing earlier in the evening. So he slept on the couch….AGAIN! The son, not the hubby.

After doing all the things that are required before laying my head on a pillow, I enter my room to the sound of some car show on the tv. Great. (enter ugly look here). I crawl into bed looking forward to disappearing from this world for the next seven hours in hopes to get a decent nights sleep. (I’ve been waking with pain and numbness from my back, oh and the nightmares.) And I feel Mechanic Man rub my back. At first I think, that’s sooo sweet. And then I realized, I was going to pretend to be sleeping even when I was not. I was mad at him. This is ridiculous!

Should I go to bed mad? No. But I was in no mood to chat or anything else, and I definately did not have the energy to explain to him what was wrong. And I certainly did not want to try and have yet another conversation in between his non-stop texts. So I slept. And I did get a fairly good nights sleep.

This morning I awoke to the chaos I had come home to the night before. No one knows where the trash can is, where groceries can be returned to after use or what the dishwasher is used for. Coffee, I need coffee. I almost had a coronary when I went to the coffee pot and found milk spilled on the counter, fresh. Really!?!?! You know you did it, wipe it up!

I think I need a vacation from me. I need to go away somewhere where no one knows my name, no one needs anything from me, the place I am at should be cleaned by someone else and someone needs to bring me my food for once. I don’t want to hear any negative statements, or notifications of a new text, just silence. Just for a day or a night. Oh, and there should be wine. Definately wine.

Somehow, my BFF sobomama always seems to make me feel like I’m falling behind on the road to having an organized home. Even when she takes the weekend off to be “Mommy of the year”.

My weekend was also sidetracked. Not to my choosing as was hers. I did the one thing that my mother told me I couldn’t do when I was a kid a few years ago. My youngest wanted a space themed room painted dark navy blue like the night sky. So I did it. It’s just paint. It can be changed at the drop of a hat. (Have I mentioned I LOVE to paint?) And he loved it! It turned out exactly as we had envisioned it. And then the Mayan’s predicted the end of the world and everyone started talking about a zombie apocolypse. (Enter ginormous sigh here and related “I despise the discovery channel for airing things like this” look)

So for nearly a year, he has been sleeping in his room less, protesting more about going to bed and informing me he was scared to sleep in there. Really? He made the choice on his room design, not me! And then it hit me, like a ton of bricks, my mom had already thought that through all those years ago. Knowing that I was at an age where she would not be around to monitor what I watched or read, or what my evil older sister told me every waking minute of the day. That was why I couldn’t paint my room black. Now I get it.

So, the money saved for the main part of the house re-paint was allocated to purchasing a lighter colored paint for the energetic and oh so snuggly when he wants something child. He was also able to find several decals for the walls as well, which I quickly put on the after its painted wait list. But he seems over joyed with the prospect of liking his room again so I too am happy for the change.

So we drug in giant boxes for the boys to empty his room full of toys he does not play with into so I could get in and start the remodel. Sore back, (yes it is still bothering me) and up a ladder I went to remove the 1000 glow in the dark stars that were on the walls when I was informed that he does not want to get rid of those, he would like them on the ceiling. Repurposing, I’m good with that.

So that is what I did on Friday, Saturday was grocery shopping and general house clean up (with a lot of heat and ice for the back, bending backwards to place 1000 glow in the dark stars to the ceiling was not the best choice for a lower back injury) and Sunday we spent together as a family. We went to Lake Michigan to watch the ice bergs, only to find out that there weren’t any. So we went home and I made a pot of Chili for dinner and we watched movies through our eye lids in the living room.

Monday evening was spent shampooing the carpet seeing as the middle dog decided that the clean floor space would be the perfect place to get sick. And then again a little while after I got it done, and again this morning. Dad cleaned that one up, not sure if he shampooed.

Completely unproductive weekend and my house shows the proof.

I will post about the room remodel though, looks like there might be a fort bed in the making?