And that is what love is…………..

Posted: February 21, 2012 in Just me, Random crap

Ok…I am going to rant a little. More accurate…I am going to list a few truths, the real ones.

First, my Ma and Pa were in Love for over 20 years. They shared their lives together. It was their choice and I am happy they made that choice. If you are not, get over yourself…it was not about you! It was about them.

It was the money my Mom and Dad had worked for and saved for over 25 years that bailed Pa out of the IRS hell his 3 daughters put him in after “borrowing” undetermined amounts of money from his business and failing to file any tax returns for several years.

It was the money my Mom and Dad had worked for and saved for over 25 years that bailed his oldest daughters house out of foreclosure which she promptly gave away during her divorce just a few years later.

They both passed away with nothing in savings because of the multiple “loans” to his three girls for things like horses, feed for the horses, hay for the horses, cars for the boyfriends and this doesn’t even include the trucks and cars that his kids “bought” on payments from them. And then there is the rent for his house that was hardly ever paid. Had you paid the rent you agreed on (which was far lower than fair market value) the loan on his house would have been paid off years ago!

They kept their stuff separate. He had his house and property and Mom had her house and property. They kept it this way for a reason. So his kids would inherit the home they grew up in and Moms kids would inherit hers. They now want half of all of my Moms stuff because they are greedy and that is the only reason. (oh, but they don’t want to divide his house in the same way)

He told his family, his friends, Mom and us girls that they would be a handful to deal with. That thier greed would make the loss of his life a mess. That they would have no respect for his wishes and try to get every dime they could even if they had no right to it. He was right. And the sad part is truely that they were never around much while he was alive, otherwise they would have already known what his wishes were (as if the will was not clear enough).

Mom did not steal his SS check. His daughter brought it over to her every month without fail. She would then deposit that check into thier joint account. The same way it had been done for the past 20 years. She used that money to pay his house payment, house insurance (which was occupied by his daughter), car insurance, supplemental health insurance, purchase his prescriptions, buy food, pay bills….the same way it had been done for 20 years.

Mom took care of him diligently for 2 years after his stroke. (They signed over his medical POA to her) She rarely left the house except to go get groceries on Saturday which she had to get someone to come sit with him to even do. She loved him and he loved her. They were happy and Pa didn’t want to be anywhere else but with her. Stroke or not, his wishes were to be at home.

And that is what love is. It is enjoying the good times and making the bad times work. It is giving up the last 2 years of your own life to take care of the one you love. It is dying of a broken heart 8 months after your partner passes away. It is not getting treated for cancer because you knew you would not be able to take care of your partner if you did. It’s giving everything you have to give to the other and not being pissy about it. And that is what Ma and Pa had.

So I am sorry that you sucked every dime you could out of your Dad and my Mom before they passed away. I am sorry that you realize that and can’t get over it. I am sorry that you think money will make you feel better. Because I know everyday that he loved me and I know everyday that he knew I loved him. Because I know that I am doing exactly what Pa wanted done and what Mom wanted done when they passed. I know because I saw him or spoke with him everyday for over 20 years.

He did not have to be my Pa. It was a choice that he made and I feel blessed to have had him choose me to be his daughter, to have loved me. And that is what love is, that is what it feels like to be truely loved, because they choose to love you. And that feeling is the greatest feeling in the world and I feel sorry for you that you never felt it.

And that is what love is.


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